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♥ SOMETIMES i... ♥

[ cant | make ]
[ it | on ]
[ my | own ]

all mapped out. [03. 03. 10|05:30 pm]

In an hours time..... I'll be on my way to meet Jul for dinner.
in one weeks time...... i should be sleeping at home, restoring my energy before the IT fair.
in one months time....... i should be packing my luggage, preparing for my trip
in one years time... i should have found a job that i absolutely love and willing to slave for as long as i shall live.
in 5 years time...... I must get married and have at least 1 kid by then...
in 10 years time........ i should alr have 4 kids by then and married to a man who loves me
in 20years time...... i will still be happily married to a man who loves me with 4 kids.
in 50 years time....... Married, kids, grand kids and retired.
in 100 years..... RIP.

yeah. so thats my plan for the next 100 years. as u can see, i have BIG DREAMS. heh.

i think the more i talk about getting married in 5 years and have a kid by then, the more it wont come to pass loh... these things are always damn suay.... ugh damn it. and im super behind time!! 23 and no where near my plans of getting married at 25. :(  i was so so close but i let it all go. At 16, 9 years felt so long.. we thought that it was too long. everyone thought we wouldnt make it....almost like it was impossible. true enough, we didn't make it.. but we could have! so oh wells. now....23 to 25....just 2 bloody years left only. What was i thinking.  and seriously. not so much about missing the mark. i mean who cares.. but finding a good guy, someone who loves u, u love him, (usually its either or.),  have the same goals as u have and everything else that falls perfectly into place? it close to impossible. 
Now ... want to move on also cannot.
lost in the old rut, stuck in the current rut...